All over the Internet (at least MY little corner of it), there is a LOT of talk lately about empowering. Mostly, I see it coming from (female) life coaches, and is aimed at women; empowering women to fulfill their potential; empowering women to step into their true selves; empowering women to do this, that and the other thing.
I have no argument with the intentions behind these programs. The creators want to help people. I’m all for it. But there’s a problem…
The word ‘empower’ means to give power to, or to grant authority to, someone else. If you believe that you (or anyone else) needs to be empowered, you are beginning from the base assumption that your power is somehow absent or diminished, and needs to be replenished from some outside source. You believe that power comes from without. You are therefore dependent and beholden to someone or something outside of your SELF.
The truth is that your power is untouchable. It is within you already. More accurately, IT is what YOU are made of. YOU are an extension of IT. YOU are an expression of IT. YOU exist in this physical world because of IT. YOU are your power. And when you die in the physical world, the power that is you will simply be directed somewhere else.
Why does this matter? Because, as Tony Robins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”
Each of us utilizes the Law of Attraction every day. Just like gravity, it is at work in our worlds at all times, and we employ it unconsciously at all times. But doing so with CONSCIOUS intent is tricky. We often put our minds on a vision of something we desire, tell ourselves it’s coming, and even believe it will happen. But it doesn’t. Why not?
Because holding a strong desire for something assumes a position of lack. “I want it, but (or because) I don’t have it.” This is where things go sideways, and where Tony’s catchy phrase comes into play.
The Universe/Source/God/Field of Infinite Potentiality/whatever receives two diametrically opposed instructions for how to shape your reality. You’re giving conscious focus to the desire, but unconscious focus to not having it.
What would YOU do if your boss gave you opposing instructions? Try to make both things happen at the same time? How far would YOU get?
At this point, you might be starting to see where this is going. Neither I, nor anyone else, has the ability to empower ANYONE in the sense we’re discussing here. If you believe that someone else can empower you (or that becoming empowered is even possible) to be bigger/better/more, then you believe you are lacking, and we’re back to the opposing instructions conundrum.
What to do? The answer is simple: adjust your focus.
If you are someone who is feeling the need or desire for advice/coaching/direction from someone else, pay attention to the words your prospective adviser uses. Do they suggest in any way that you are lacking something? If so, keep looking.
If you are offering these kinds of services to others, examine the words YOU use. Consider shifting away from “I empower” to “I encourage” or “I support”, etc.
I don’t need anyone to empower me to do anything. But I might need someone to show me how to better tap into my power. I don’t need someone else’s permission to be a better, more impactful version of myself, but I might need someone else to remind me that it’s possible.
The differences can be subtle, but subtleties often make all the difference.
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